Relay Column: Returnees from Abroad, Donning “Japan” (Yukari Yamagishi)

There was a time when I consumed and adorned myself with "Japan" as fashion. This was due to the identity crisis I experienced growing up as a corporate family member and a returnee. At the age of 22, I discovered "Japan," my one and only homeland, and became immersed in it. At the same time, I was also deeply perplexed by "Japan." In this column, I will trace the trajectory of my sociocultural identity involving loss and alienation, discovery and liberation. What meaning did adorning myself with "Japan" hold for me at that time?

My parents were part of a corporate family. Therefore, I am a "Homeland Refugee"［1］. I have moved and transferred schools repeatedly since I was three years old. Because of this, I hold a strong yearning and complex regarding the local area, dialects, childhood friends, and most importantly, the concept of "homeland." For example, during my undergraduate years, I frequented the Ishikawa Prefecture Association, the Hokkaido Prefecture Association, and a student community that included returnees. The most comfortable place for me was the student community because it was a gathering of "outsiders."